Friday, May 18, 2007

Work is the absence of social life

twelve things about work:

ONE It's not my kind of office. Everyone is so nice and helpful. Where are all the bitches when I need one to make my office life more interesting??!!!!! ROAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

TWO Two days into my work and I was bored. Reason: See above.

THREE I can NEVER seem to be on time. I've been working for the past two weeks, and I've only been punctual or early on two counts, even though if you make a trip down to Bugis at 9am every morning, you will see a girl running like crazy. That's me. You see, I RUN and still LATE. Work starts at 9am. The good thing is there are no teachers waiting in the office to scold you. Nope. Only bosses waiting to smack you in the head.

FOUR My workplace is all the way at Paya Lebar. This is why I must protest that the above deserves to be forgiven. I know what you are thinking. What am I doing in Bugis at 9am when work starts at 9am and my office is in Paya Lebar right??!!!

FIVE First, I was told my work stint duration would be up to me. I can choose between 1 to 3 months. Then, two weeks into work, my boss came up to me and said, "Monday will be your last day." Monday came. And, Boss said, "Friday will be your last day." Friday came. And, Boss said, "Next Friday will be your last day." Next Friday came and...well, I don't know what happened when next Friday came because it hasn't yet. Stay tuned for updates.

SIX I can't help NOT falling asleep in the office. It's a vicious cycle, you see. Because I know I have to be up and early the next morning and report to work, so at night I try to stay up as long as possible to do my own stuff. Even the reminder of WHAT happened at my last workplace when I dozed off and promptly placed my head on the table could do NOTHING to stop me from nodding off. (Note: Some bitch told on me.)

SEVEN Whenever I nod off, I eat chocolates. Ten nod-offs, and ten chocolates goes into my mouth. The first day I used them as my anti-sleeping pills, I ended up with a sore throat even before I knocked off from work. I've smartened up since. I either increase my caffeine intake or just let myself doze off. I always believe it is bad to resist sleep, it can do some damage to your health. Or your psychological well-being.

EIGHT I like Boss. She has never-ending work for me to do. =)))

NINE I realized that my office wardrobe choices are black, blue, white and grey. It's true! Even though we are allowed to wear T-shirts and jeans, but my jeans are always blue, and my T-shirt is always black, blue, white or grey. I've never ever once worn anything outside of those colours. Okay, except that time I wore the green outfit. But, only once.

I still remember in my last workplace, the first time I wore that green outfit, everyone was so surprised and shocked. 'Har, you are actually wearing something that is not black or white??!!!' Yes, muted colours fit my skin tones you see, I look like a freaking stuffed turkey in almost any other colour.

Every single freaking time I open up the wardrobe, my hand always reaches out for the most convenient choices, anything that are those four colours. I remember in one of my last workplace, I kept wearing the same freaking blue outfit that once someone commented to my colleague, 'Is that her uniform?' And, my colleague was at a loss for words, because you see, there is not uniform and we are allowed to wear our own clothes!

TEN I don't have my own desk. I sit on whoever desk that the person is on MC or urgent leave. This is also why sometimes I can't help but feel so appreciated. Once, I came into the office and no one that I knew was on urgent leave. So, I had to take a stool and sit at a corner all by myself, cursing under my breath, while waiting for my supervisor to arrive. Until, finally, a colleague chanced upon me and said, 'Oh, so poor thing!' and invited me over to her oasis which she termed her 'little cosy corner'.

Right now, I'm currently sitting on my colleague Wendy's desk. She's been on leave for the past three days. And, everytime I come in, she has all these gifts strewn all over her desk from various colleagues, with Post-It notes writing little cute messages like 'TGIF!' Man, she's like the popular cheerleader around here or something; a very cute petite girl with a high pitch, shrilly voice which some may find irritating (ahem) . Just today, I counted at least five or six little gifts on her table, given over the past few days. There were three new ones today. I saw a sweet basket, strawberry cookies, chocolates, one candle burner, and today, one Hershey's chocolate bar propped against her keyboard. And, yet, my supervisor's desk remains suspiciously empty. Hmm....

Also, when I first came into the office, I was the ONLY temp staff without internet access. I suspect someone told on me or something. I mean, how else would they know my motive was to log onto MSN and chat with friends?

ELEVEN Whenever I transform into a cubicle rat the moment I step into the office, I can't help thinking that this is NOT what I want. And, then start wishing that I was in the Iraq War zone, risking life and limb, reporting on the latest updates on the war.

TWELVE I'm dead serious about No. ELEVEN.

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