batting for the other team

It was dark inside. The first thing you notice when you step beyond the thin fabric of a curtain is a bright red heart-shaped carpet that hints of something seductive inside. The whole atmosphere is like a flirty temptress ala femme fatale, staring you amorously in the eye, daring you to delve deeper into the bowels of the unknown. The dimly-lit alleyway introduced us to a close to pitch-dark room. Candles on random tables, as well as barely there lights from above the ceiling, make a half-hearted attempt in lighting up the entire room. The cosy ambiance was like a lullaby, slowly luring oneself into a sleepy mood.

This is not your average bar. It is a gay lifestyle bar.

Situated right in the heartbeat of Chinatown, there is nothing about the appearance on the outside that gives a clue of what lays within the confines of the very chinese-looking building. You know, like those monuments that you see in period dramas. It looks like any other shophouse.

We sat in a corner of the bar, playing games to pass time. One of us would come up with a category, for example, gay actors. Then, we would go around the table, and the person who failed to come up with a name, has to drink. The penalty of the lime alcohol intake wasn't half as bad compared to the Bacardi C Blanca (premium hard-core liquor), which I shared with a friend.

I sipped a pint of Bacardi C Blanca and squirmed at the bitterness of the $11-a-cup alcohol.

Apparently, there was more 'action' going on at the counter bar, as opposed to the cosy corner that we took our stake in. The two waitresses were two very gay (gay as in sexual orientation, as well as gay, as in happy) young-looking Chinese dudes. One got a little too close for comfort when he asked me if I wanted a drink.

The two would go around the tables, flirting with the gays, touching them effeminately on the shoulders. Occasionally, when there was nothing to do, they would stand around in a corner, and flick their hair about in a very feminine kind of way.

Kylie Minougue's 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' was blaring from the stereos. On the TV, some programme featuring some naked dude with his private bits censored out was airing. It looked very MTV-ish. Everywhere, posters of an unidentifiable male with washboard boards hung around the bar. There were poster boards featuring major musical hits such as Les Misérables pinned on them. Outside the alfresco area, Chinese red lanterns dangled from above.

The average customer is not your Singaporean dude. Rather, it is a magnet for expatriates and Caucasians predominate the clientèle base.

We got bored after awhile because of the lack of 'action' going on. The gay crowd were rather subdued, and the only exciting ones were probably the two waiters.

We couldn't finished the drink, so we passed it over to the guys at the table to finish it for us. One looked very drunk afterwards. Another complained of feeling 'very drowsy'.

We decided to move on. Someone joked that the next bar he was going to bring us to were where we could see muscular dudes. A 10-minute walk away. However, the bar required membership passes to enter. With a thirsty desire to see how 'happening' the enclosed gay bar was, the only thing that held us back was an entrance fee of $15, and our barely there wallets.

So, we ended up hanging around atop the mountain top of Ann Siang Street, a very cool area with leave vines entwined around the wooden poles and bench areas, where we sat. Also, it provides a panoramic view of all the skyscrapers of the business districts around that area. Which one said, he 'can never ever get sick of looking at the view from here'.

Next, the eight of us went bar-hopping (or rather, bar-searching), traipsing the streets of the Tanjong Pagar area. Our next target? A lesbian bar. One male in our group got all tippy with excitement when he heard the words, 'lesbian' and 'bar'.

When we finally reached our target, a group of gay males in front of us made a feminine gesture of a pointy finger at the bouncer (man in black standing outside) and asked pointedly, 'Is this a gay bar?'

The bouncer nodded his head curtly.

However, we didn't go in straightaway. We just hung around outside. The group were like rather hesitant and apprehensive about approaching the bar. Until, finally, I was like, 'Hey, it's free anyway. So, why don't we go in and have a look?' And, so I led the way, and everyone else followed closely. You see, smartyypants is brave and courageous that way.

Since it was still too early for most clubbers (read: 10.45pm), the club was still fairly devoid of jostling human bodies. Neither were there a single soul on the dance-floor. The DJ stood admist the sound system, spinning tracks of rock music after rock music. At a corner, sat a group of young teenagers. The girls were dressed rather skimpily (read: micro-mini skirts and tight tees).

For once, I relished the background music at the first bar we went to. In here, the music is pounding, until after a while, you feel your eye-drums reverberating and you beg for silence. At least, that's what I did.

The whole group of us moved to a quieter area. The moment we sat down, a bunch of us started shrieking and rubbing their hands all over one another. Apparently, they had brushed against the curtain, and there were some residues of 'sticky viscous liquid' left behind by some previous visitors. Er....I didn't need to know what it was exactly.

We ordered two jugs of drinks, some mildly nasty stuff, which totaled up to 40 bucks. Which is nothing compared to some tertiary students who splurge on premium high-end brands that cost up to $130 a bottle.

Since there were eight of us, it meant each of us had to fork out 5 bucks. Which, again, is nothing, compared to groups of about 15 which might spend up to $3,000 a night on drinks, according to a Sunday Times report. A quick math calculation: $200 per person. 5 bucks is chicken feet.

The epitome of any bar-and-drinking session: Truth and Dare!

Pawpaw choose 'Dare', and her challenge? To get onto the tabletop and dance for 5 minutes. Which she gamely did.

Me, being the scaredy cat, almost peed my pants as the bottle swirled round and round the table, begging, pleading, begging, pleading, please don't - oh, great. The bottle was pointedly, obviously, evidently, pointing at moi.

"Truth!" I spluttered, because of my inept cowardly nature.

"Okay....who do you think is the best-looking among all the males at this table?"

OMFG!!! How do you answer such a sensitive question sensitively? So, I quickly said (ok, shouted across the table), "I don't want to offend anybody!"

Of course, they wouldn't accept such a boring answer. And, so I racked my brains. It was of course, pretty obvious, who was the most handsome guy. So, should I tell the truth, tell a lie, or just fumble over the question?

Then, Ho started showing off his non-existent muscular abs. Seizing the opportunity, I quickly pointed at him, and said, 'Him! Him!"

But, everyone was mistaken, and thought I was pointing at Eng (the guy sitting next to him). Which, was, whom I had thought to be the most handsome dude at the table in the first place.

So there. Pawpaw then muttered under her breath, 'Not surprising.'

yes. not surprising. It was like having Jude Law over to dinner and all these other nondescript males sitting around him. Get my point?

Next question. Who would you most like to kiss among all the guys at this table?

Sorry to all those expecting something juicy, my answer was blah.

"None."

"Good answer."

Ho lost next, and his challenge was to run round the chairs at the far end 5 times. He ended up doing a sexy number, making risqué posteriors, and at one point, even lifted up his shirt to flaunt his non-existent washboard abs. His next challenge was to approach any male bartender and ask for his number. Piece of cake.

The rest of the game was a blur, with CG dozing off (because the bottle never did pointed at him), me yawning away and sending smses, and everyone chugging down mouthfuls of liquor down their throat and feeling very 'hot' afterwards.

Suddenly, when I was nodding away to dreamland, Pawpaw nudged me. "Look, look!"

Just a stone's throw away from where we were seated, were two butter-yellow egg-shaped cradles. Two males were sharing one of these cradles, which is a weird thing to do in normal situations, since only girls do girly stuff like that.

From where I was seated, the only thing I could make out were two very long pair of legs clad in jeans inter-crossed against each other. I knew something exciting was going to happen.

I quickly changed seats with Pawpaw and still, I couldn't see anything beyond what I could discern from where I was seated previously.

I switched back seats, and Truth and Dare continued its run.

Halfway through sending an sms, there was a minor uproar at the table again. I looked up, only to see Pawpaw giggling, Eng looking all excited, and CG still dozing off.

"They are kissing!"

Immediately, my eyes diverted itself sideways. From my restricted view, all I could make out was this guy's head at a very high angle, so clearly, he was kissing the other dude man!

They were like totally making out! Right smack in the 'backyard' of the bar. Unsuspecting waiters walk pass, before diverting their eyes away when they realized what was going on. One gay even walked right up so that he was just inches away from the two dudes smooching, and he continued staring for ages. I think he liked what he saw.

Well, me? I got so curious, that I couldn't care less. I got up from my seat, tilted my head and body to a better angle, so that I could see more.

Which got some people in the group panicking. I was like, hey guys, what's the big deal?

Ok, for those of you curious, both gays were Malay. One played the passive role of just lying down (I couldn't make out his face at all) while the other got all touchy-feely, and I suspect, was the one who initiated the kiss.

Erm...I shan't go down to graphic details, in case some of you out there puke.

Ok, kidding! There weren't too much graphic details lah!

Actually, if you look around, this is nothing unusual. There were guys all around getting intimate with their boyfriends. Still, we are a fairly conservative Asian society, and there weren't too much risqué or raunchy action going on.

Just, in front of us, two gays couldn't keep their hands off each other. I think it was an eye-opening experience because rarely in Singapore, do you see gays displaying their affections towards each other so openly.

I think it is here where they can truly be themselves, and not having to put on an overly pretentious affectation.

We got down to spinning the bottle again. The penalty: Alcohol. The bottle turned to me again. And, I had to drink. And, when it was my turn to spin, it turned to me again. Arghhh!!

Finally, on our way out, we caught this gay couple behaving very affectionately. One of them was looking at the other lustily, and constantly brushed his body against the other, and then positioning his lips right beside the other party's ears and whispering words of erm..lust?

When we finally emerged from the bar, my face was tomato-red, and the internal heat in me was rising rapidly. Ahhh!! I made a mental note to myself to drink alcohol to keep myself warm if I ever do pursue an education in cold, wintry Australia.

On our way home, in the taxi...

smartyypants: Hey, why did you guys try to stop me just now when I wanted to get a closer look at the gays?
pawpaw: It's not very nice la, because what they are doing is actually something very private. It's not nice to look so openly. Even for normal straight couples.
smartyypants: But, you know this guy, he walked all the way right up to the gay couple, (practically right over the couple's shoulders !) and kept staring for ages!!!
pawpaw: But, that guy is a gay!
smartyypants: Oh, so you mean, gays can look. Straight people cannot la?
pawpaw: No... (pauses...thinks...) But, you're a girl!
smartyypants: And, so? (Seriously, I think this point of argument is a bit inconsequential, boys and girls are of equal status! Muahahaha...) I mean, what can they do to me?
pawpaw: Okay....and so what if they beat you up?! Moreover, they are gays! <- Gays fiercer?

smartyypants: So, what?! I scared ar?! If they beat me up, I whack them back la! <- Act macho only
pawpaw: .......

Because, you see? smartyypants is brave and courageous that way.

Afternote: Fyi, according to pawpaw, gays are some of the nicest people around.

Afternote II: Sorry, guys, I didn't take any pictures even though I brought my camera along. Because, it's not convenient at all (*3) and we are threading on sensitive ground. =(