i thought i was happy, but i was wrong

so the decision to go to Australia may take immediate effect after all, since I called up the person-in-charge, and he said that I had to spend 3 years Down Under, as they didn't provide any '2 yrs in sg, 1 yr in Down Under'...

but, actually, the whole affair about throwing water bottles still bothers me a bit, and Dad has agreed that I can go to New York to further my studies instead. Ahhh, I so wanna, and just when I thought, "Hooray! The British are all gentlemen, and they surely won't throw water bottles at me!" I mean, hey, they came up tops in the Reader's Digest Courtesy survey, didn't they? But, Dad had to go on to ask me to beware of Negros, I have no idea whether that term has any degradery sense or not. And, what's the advice about NOT getting influenced by drugs and cigarettes? Yah, like me, hah! I'll not one of those people who get easily influenced, come on! (err...sure anot? -_-)

overall, I say there are more pros than cons leaving sg, there are so many reasons that are luring me to be independent and stand on my own two feet for once. I can't do that here, because I'm so ensconced in the bowels of security and comfort that are omni-present in my life in sg.

but guess what? my cousin recently just went to US to further her studies, and she TOTALLY regrets her decision. says that if she had to choose all over again, she would DEFINITELY stay in sg, because life there is so tough.

in case anyone of you think that I'm so stupid for letting the throwing water bottles affair impede my decision to study in Australia, you are probably right. I'm stupid.

but the thing is, it's not about throwing water bottles. It's a bigger issue that's lurking behind, enveloping in the surrounding darkness and scrutiny, it's the unknown that rips my sensibility and ravages it.

so right now, I'm tearing my hair out figuring what is the next step to take.

and I tell you, my Dad is no help at all. He keeps trying to persuade me to go study at Monash University. Where? Malaysia.

Can you imagine?

Person 1: I just flew back from the UK.. studying Psychology full-time over there..what about you?
Person 2: Oh, me? I just graudated with an honours degree in Economics and Finance, from the London Institute of Management. What about you? (Looks at me expectantly)
Me: Oh, me? (fakes laughter) I..er, went to study overseas too! I'm actually studying at Monash University.
Person 1: (looks interested) Oh, I see, the one at Australia, right?
Me: Er, no...actually, it's the one in um..Malaysia..
Person 1 and 2: ......