Don't even try telling any Singaporean on the street "One person only one try." Trying to decipher the meaning behind those words would be harder than cracking The Da Vinci Code. And what happens if you tell them, "You've had your turn. Now let others have their chance"? They cry. On the spot. And the next thing you know they are walking away happily with a freebie in their hands.
I've had my first taste of a roadshow or in professional terms, event management. And, it wasn't pleasant. Unpleasant people make up the bulk of the reason behind my disillusionment. And you will be surprised at how thick the skin of some people are. If you ever meet such a person the next time round, take a ruler and place it against their skin and surprise! surprise! you will realize that theirs are a few diameters in length longer than the average man on the street. Trust me. You will be better off giving them the free gift than argue with them for the next five minutes on how each person only gets one chance, how unfair it is for the other people, and how he or she shouldn't be so unreasonable. Because. Unreasonable people wouldn't listen to reason in the first place.
As every marketing personnel understands, when you let the public play games to win prizes, there are bound to be some "cheating" involved. That's pretty reasonable, you can't be giving out $50 freebies to every Ah Beng, Ah Seng or Ah Kow. You will go bankrupt in no time. Besides, why else do you think the phrase, "Thank you for your participation. Better luck next time." were invented? Precisely! Their sole existence is to be used upon situations where you have to disappoint a huge number of people. These situations are sometimes refered to as 'lucky draws'. Anyway, most Singaporeans act like as though we owe them these freebies. One auntie even declared openly when she didn't won anything, "It's alright even if I didn't win anything,"she tried saying to me in her most convincing voice, albeit rather unconvincingly, "It's just like Toto. If I win, it's good. But, if I don't, then you know, it doesn't really matter."
When certain of our freebies were running low, we had to make use of other premiums to "cover" up. Apparently, one man who stood beside me, had been observing our "tactics" for quite some time, and realized that unlike all the premiums stated, the public were only getting a certain particular gift. He commented that the other premiums were MIA, and asked if it could be possible if we did not have the other premiums as stated clearly on our board. I rebutted him, of course, it was the obvious thing to do. Following which, I held up to his face the different premiums to be won. Which left him dumbstruck...that is, until he made up his mind to do some research on his own. So, when I wasn't looking, he went behind where all the premiums were kept (actually, not far from where I was standing) and saw that there were only a measely amount of the other premiums left. Following which, he remarked smugly to me, "Oh...so no wonder only left a few of the other premiums lah, so you don't dare to give out." FCUK can!!! I was boiling at 103%, and just barely managed to keep my anger in check. Actually, it was the crowd that distracted me.
Then, around noon, came this lao ah pek. This was what he said to me,
"Xiao Jie (Miss), can you give me one of those free gifts?"
Me: "Uncle, you have to queue up!"
LAP: "Aiyah, nevermind one lah. Just give me any free gift will do."
Me: "Uncle, you have to queue up like everyone else!"
The queue was like freaking long, that I couldn't even see the end of the queue from where I was standing. I didn't give it to him because 1) I didn't want the rest of the people queuing to complain (You know how much Singaporeans hate people who jump queue!!! It came in top on the charts in the list on what Singaporeans hated the most! I didn't want any anger or criticism directed at me.) and 2) I wanted to be fair to the rest of them who had queued in the hot, sunny weather. So Mr. Lao Ah Pek stood around, begging me to give him a gift, any one will do. And, I kept turning him down, because 1) the rest were staring to see how I would respond and 2) the LAP was seriously starting to piss me off.
Finally...LAP says to me,
"I am old already. On account of that, just give me any free gift. I'm old. I cannot queue up." FUCK can !!! What kind of *censored* excuse is that?!! Do you know how many old ah mas and ah peks there were in the queue, even older than him!! And, what did they do?? They queued up, like everyone else!
So I said to him again, "You have to queue up, like everyone else."
And, this was what he said to me as he walked away,
"You don't give allowance to old people. One day, you will die young."
All this for a free gift that costs less than $10 (stated), but whose actual worth is only $2-$3. I'm not going to say any bad things about him because that's only going to give me more demerit and less karma points, even though I almost lost my cool there and then. I fully understand that the fat, old, fugly white-haired man was just trying to teach me some good moral values on how to treat the old with respect and sympathy. I won't blame him for his uncouth words and I won't wish unkind things on him like how I hope his mouth rots and how he loses his voice and one day can never speak again.
All in all, I must say that the roadshow was a huge runway success...in attracting cheapo and bo liao people.
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