Tuesday, March 04, 2008

singapore, the concrete jungle

"Are there any Singaporeans around here?"

The lecturer waited patiently, for anyone, anyone at all, to raise their hands. Mine remained nestled in the cradle of my thighs. No way was I going to raise that hand of mine.

"Oh, come on," the lecturer conjoled. "There HAS to be a Singaporean here!"

Still, my hands remained stubbornly still.

Is it any surprise that Singaporeans just love fading into the wallpaper roles when they are overseas?

Now, the entire lecture hall had heads turning. Some shook their heads, indicating to the lecturer that, "No, there are no Singaporeans here."

"Well then," the bearded man clasped his hands tightly together. "Then I shall go on to slight Singapore!"

Thank God I didn't raise my hand, I thought.

Call it instinct, but I just KNEW that the lecturer was going to pass some offensive comments on Singapore. It seems that, in a school culture where Singapore is more often than not a talking point among the lecturers' teaching materials, nobody has anything good to say about Singapore.

As some of you might know, Reporters Without Borders did a survey of press freedom internationally, and Asian countries consistently ranked the lowest among these rankings.

Singapore, OBVIOUSLY, has no press freedom to speak of. It came out 146th place in the rankings. The Straits Times is the government's mouthpiece, and Lee Kuan Yew once said that the purpose of the daily newspaper is for "nation-building".

What with all the ethical talk of journalists, my lecturer then went on to criticise Singapore. We have to pick a country for our assignment, and I'm thinking Singapore. Because I have so many things I would like to criticise about Singapore's press. But, Russia would be a good country to scrutinize too.

For our Modern Asia class, we watched a documentary of Singapore (AGAIN!) on the Lonely Planet. Basically, the show portrayed Singapore as a concrete jungle and its citizens having a real passion for food.

I watched the video and had the same effect a bulimic sticking a finger up her throat would induce. Fake. Try too hard. Just playing it up for the sake of the cameras. Couldn't understand a word the guy was saying - were just some of the comments my Aussie coursemates had to say about Singaporeans.

And, sadly, I could only agree. Come on, I grew up in Singapore, and people DO NOT speak in that ang-mohish accent, DO NOT speak in proper English and full sentences and CERTAINLY DO NOT just whip up a chick onto his bike.

So, anyway, Kumar (Singapore's most famous drag queen) was featured in the video, in an all-too-obvious attempt to portray Singapore as anything BUT the sterilized country it is. So, there we have Kumar with his trademark slap-stick antics, talking about sex and holding a vibrator for his Grandma.

And, the best response he could elicit from my Aussie coursemate was: "I couldn't understand a word the guy was saying."

Well, guess what?

Half the time, I have no idea what my lecturers are saying.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why are you ashamed to raise your hand? The country has no connection with you, apart from the fact that you were born there.

It could have been a healthy discussion, but you chose to melt into the background. It's a shame that you allowed that to happen.

littlecartnoodles said...

Hang in there, bro.

I wonder what your lecturer would have done if some Singaporeans had raised their hands to signal their presence ? Would he have picked some other country to criticise ? Would he have toned down or racheted up his intended rants ?

Perhaps he was hoping to see some Singaporeans in the audience so that he could either coax a weakly-argued defence, or meek and resigned concurrence.

Some of your tuition fees are going into that guy's pocket. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

You should have raised your hand.

Shows how much of Singaporean indoctrination you've gotten into you already.

Anonymous said...

hey, New Zealand ain't in Asia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!