don't cross my path and act like we are strangers

ten things.
[Tue, Jan 16, 07 / 10:12pm]
List ten things you want to say to ten random people, but you know you never will say these things to them. Don’t say who the comment is meant for, and use people only once.

1. Even if we don't contact each other for ten years, the friendship between us shall never fade. That's how strong our bonds are. You are like the sister that God forgot to include when He was writing my 'siblings' name-list'.

2. Sometimes I wish you can be happy. Other times, it feels like I am willing to sacrifice my own in order to exchange for your happiness. Just be happy, damnit! If only it were that easy.

3. Sometimes I hate myself for forgiving you so quickly, only to find that the pain still lives in my heart.

4. I hate you. I hate how you are childish, whinish, and a flippant friend whose loyalty flips over faster than a coin.

5. These days, I look at you and start to ponder where is the smiling and cheerful gal who never failed to give me a helping hand when I was faced with life's uncertainties...when did that part of you die without you even realizing it, or do you even realize it at all?

6. I hate you. I hate how you dominate my life so much so that even after so many years I still want you as my best friend. Where have all the letter-writing, the nightly phone chats, the movie dates, the noisy banter between us vanished to? Why has that banter been reduced to such a pathetic state even less audible than a whisper? It seems that the bonds of our friendship have loosened like an unwitting piece of cloth whose fabric has woven apart, lending conviction that the fabric wasn't very tightly knit in the first place. I hate how my friends never stop updating me about your news, how my friends around me remind me how close I was to you, I hate how the envy of one can now turn into a stabbing pain in the recesses of my heart, and I even more hate how you have a new best friend now. Hurl abuse at me, curse me, swear at me! So at least I can be sure that the friendship between us existed in real life, and not just merely as a figment of my imagination. Damn. Just be my best friend all over again. Don't cross my path and act like we are strangers again.

7. I like you. I like you for something that goes far beyond aesthetic appeal and flamboyant adulation.

8. I wish that our friendship didn't revolve around superficial trash and I dislike how you blame me for not keeping in contact, when you have conveniently failed to do the same, citing 'studies' as the most primary reason. Don't ever say things like 'I thought you died' to me. Ever. Again.

9. I think back about the time you said to me, "I've never had a close friendship with anyone that lasted beyond the time we spent in school." And, oh, I wish I could change all that.

10. Sometimes, I wish that your vulnerability isn't restricted only to falling victim into The Devil's (read: depression) hands, then go on to demonstrate the strength of your willpower by building up a wall to hide all the emotional pandemonium stirring inside. I wish you wouldn't be so harsh on yourself. Build a door. Then let others in.