I Want 2 B Famous

No, I don't have an exhibitionist streak.

Neither do I have such an inferior complex that I need to certify my own existence and self-worth by having people falling at my feet and worshipping me.

Neither has it anything to do with the fact that I've faded into oblivion and stuck out as a wallpaper for so long in my life, that I would like to be recognized for once.

No, being famous does not equate to an ego trip for me.

Stories of people living their whole lives yearning to be famous, but eventually finding out that being famous is NOT and should NEVER be a measure of one's self-worth, are a dime a dozen. But, reconciling the idea of appreciating your NOBODY status and acknowledging that you are and should only be a SOMEBODY to those people that matter is the kind of life motto that you should be striving for.

But, you don't often hear people scaling their self-worth according to that criterion, do you?

You hear people saying that their resolution in life is to be "a movie star" or "a doctor" or "a lawyer" or "somebody famous". But, how often do you hear people going, "My mission in life is to learn how to appreciate the people around me."

It's the same belief that work should be a priority above family matters. Even though many would beg to differ, even more don't practise what they preach, and parents find themselves sub-consciously sinking into the monotonous routine of work life, and frequently returning home from work late. Until one day they realize that their child calls the maid "Mummy" and insists on the maid reading his or her bedtime story or fixing their breakfast early in the morning. But, still, they are so used to living that kind of life that they don't even think about changing it.

Seriously, I value my privacy above all else, and would never be willing to trade it as currency in exchange for that much-lauded fame.

Actually, I only want to be a famous journalist. Not some pop star singer like Britney Spears or Elva Hsiao, whose life story lays out like an open journal in some tabloid rag, sundry and all. And, just for that alone, it may not be necessary to trade in my privacy, because not many people want to hear about some journalist's life story as compared to the magnitude of interest that pop stars and singers today generate. Just the amount of tabloids and gossip publications in the market will attest to that statement.

I can't imagine how Hollywood stars manage to juggle fame without resorting to jumping off a cliff or something. I mean, Jennifer Aniston said that the paparazzi once followed her all the way to see her buy TOILET PAPER...it's no wonder that stars like Cameron Diaz and Jay Chou have the utmost detest for the paparazzi. Once, Jay Chou came out of his house to place cans of dog food at his door-step, and the paparrazi stationed outside his house started snapping away like nobody's business, having no clue at all that the joke was ON them.

I enjoy walking around carelessly, and I know for sure I wouldn't appreciate people magnifying me with their eyeballs, and would very much prefer that they stick their noses in their own business, thank you for much.

Being famous is like as though people are waiting for you to fall on your noses, so they can laugh at you.


Still, like the mermaid who exchanged her voice for a pair of legs, I would gladly trade in my privacy to be recognized internationally for what I do best. While the extent of the mermaid's sacrifice did not eventually entitle her to a fairy-tale ending, mine would only mean that I've attained the epitome of what I've always wanted in life.

In fact, I talk about being a famous journalist so much that my mother once said to me,

"Why must be big? Living a simple life, isn't it good enough?"

For my mum, who has lived a simple life all her life, it seemed understandable that her mindset tilted towards the bliss of a simplistic life. I don't deny that, I've always thought (though not fully understand) that you can find joy in the simple rituals of life, and I find great joy in sleeping, eating, talking, watching TV, blogging etc.

But, I've known all along that something was missing in my life, like a jigsaw puzzle with half a piece missing. It's incomplete. It may only be half a piece short, but at the end of the day, it still remains a piercing gap.

I've always had the prefect picture envisioned of my future, and writing was always part of it. In fact, like Kit Chan once said, she yearned to become a performer so much, that "it was that, or nothing at all". Her words struck a chord inside me, and during my formulative years in life, the passion towards my choice of ambition or profession in life was so clear-cut and entrenched in my mind, that I couldn't see anything else in my future.

It is that, or nothing at all.