Forever 17 - 不想长大

I’m sure, if given the chance, every woman would want to remain Forever 17.

However, as this is not the Land of Peter Pan, it’s impossible.

Women just have to break out of the notion that they want to remain youthful forever. Anything else is deceiving themselves. And, when laugh wrinkles and MRT lines start to dominate their once smooth, supple skin, they will find it harder to accept that they are ageing.

Ageing. I’m sure that is a term no woman wants to be associated with. Ageing means old. And old means ugly. No woman wants to be ugly, hence the notion of growing old injects fear in their minds and hearts.

What about those who were once pretty? They will find it harder for themselves to come to terms with the fact that they are ageing. Take Zoe Tay, for instance. She’s ageing, she knows it, the public knows it. Hence, her recent “I Swallow” advertisement, which created a major furore among Singaporeans.

The common perception here is that she’s trying to act young even though she no longer is. To me, it seems like she has difficulty breaking out of her once young, beautiful self and accept that she is now officially auntie.

Can you imagine how hard it must be for Zoe Tay, who is under the public limelight, to grow old? The public is unrelentingly cruel when it comes to criticizing actors and actresses for their looks, mainly because of two factors.

One, their popularity is most probably built upon his or her looks. Hence, they are expected to look beautiful and handsome all the time. Anything short of great-looking and the public probably feels short-changed (eg. I buy the magazine to ogle over Brad Pitt’s well-defined cheekbones, so I fully expect it to be well-worth my US$5.99 bucks and not for it to be sagging, neither do I wish to see a single MRT line on his face).

Of course, today, this is a minor problem that Adobe Photoshop can solve.

Secondly, their popularity is most probably built upon his or her looks. Hence, the public now has the valuable opportunity to laugh at their sagging cheekbones and crow lines!

This is especially so in a society where most feel is unfair. How come two human beings who both have two eyes, one nose and one mouth can have so different destinies (one becomes a 9-5 clerk while another rises to super-star status) just because one is born more good-looking than the other?

Let’s take my mother, for instance. She’s in her 50s and terribly afraid of ageing. The mere thought of it haunts her like a wandering spirit with a restless soul. This is especially so when Chinese New Year is around the corner. She sighs and go, “One year past so fast.” Anyone who reads between the lines know exactly that she’s not referring to the time flying past, but the time which is showing on her face.

Hence, she’s an avid exerciser and health-nutritionist, all so as to prolong her life span. She stocks up on all kinds of expensive creams. To get rid of her wrinkles, blackheads, pimples. You name it, and she probably has it in that wardrobe of hers. She spreads thousands and thousands of dollars on facial treatments, laser treatments, and botox injections.

She refuses to acknowledge her age, and insists on one single candle on her birthday cake each year. Sometimes, I peek at her passport or see the age bracket she ticks whenever we go JB to remind myself of her age.

I know many girls in their early twenties who feel like old grannies. Almost every single girl, actually. The truth is, we often don’t appreciate what we have until we’ve lost it. Meaning only when these girls approach their 30s, do they look back and reminisce about their youth in the 20s, and the loss of it in their 30s. Same goes for those in their 40s who look back at their 30s. Often, we overlook our current state or situation, always desiring to be in a different phrase. Only when we’ve lost it, then do we spend time appreciate those lost moments.

My suggestion is, why not enjoy the moment? Enjoy the currency, wealth and opportunities of youth that you have now, and in the years ahead of you.

That’s not to say that when you are in your 30s, should you start forever living in the shadow of being 20!

I don’t understand why a 30-year-old woman would be considered old. This is again a perception of society, when everyone talks about it and believes in it, and then it becomes a social norm.

Same notion as any 30-year-old woman who isn’t married by that age is most probably:
1) unmarriageable
2) which makes her: less of a woman

This is why women rush to get married before they hit 30, otherwise relatives will start talking behind her back. They wouldn’t think that she’s a happy single woman, but probably one with eccentric thinking / fugly and that’s why no man wants her.

My point is that one does not grow old for nothing. When one is at a more mature age, one is more likely to be happier. Because you are no longer that insecure teenager, who worries about that pimple on her forehead and not having enough money to buy her favourite idol’s CD or fund her constant craving for designer coffee.

You are now a financially-independent, self-assured woman. And, then, you do not have to worry about not having enough money to finance your craving for Starbucks coffee, because now, you’re eyeing that Prada handbag you saw that day at Paragon. Hahaha!

Too many people live for the future.

To be truly happy, you must live for the moment.