Forever 17 - 不想长大

I’m sure, if given the chance, every woman would want to remain Forever 17.

However, as this is not the Land of Peter Pan, it’s impossible.

Women just have to break out of the notion that they want to remain youthful forever. Anything else is deceiving themselves. And, when laugh wrinkles and MRT lines start to dominate their once smooth, supple skin, they will find it harder to accept that they are ageing.

Ageing. I’m sure that is a term no woman wants to be associated with. Ageing means old. And old means ugly. No woman wants to be ugly, hence the notion of growing old injects fear in their minds and hearts.

What about those who were once pretty? They will find it harder for themselves to come to terms with the fact that they are ageing. Take Zoe Tay, for instance. She’s ageing, she knows it, the public knows it. Hence, her recent “I Swallow” advertisement, which created a major furore among Singaporeans.

The common perception here is that she’s trying to act young even though she no longer is. To me, it seems like she has difficulty breaking out of her once young, beautiful self and accept that she is now officially auntie.

Can you imagine how hard it must be for Zoe Tay, who is under the public limelight, to grow old? The public is unrelentingly cruel when it comes to criticizing actors and actresses for their looks, mainly because of two factors.

One, their popularity is most probably built upon his or her looks. Hence, they are expected to look beautiful and handsome all the time. Anything short of great-looking and the public probably feels short-changed (eg. I buy the magazine to ogle over Brad Pitt’s well-defined cheekbones, so I fully expect it to be well-worth my US$5.99 bucks and not for it to be sagging, neither do I wish to see a single MRT line on his face).

Of course, today, this is a minor problem that Adobe Photoshop can solve.

Secondly, their popularity is most probably built upon his or her looks. Hence, the public now has the valuable opportunity to laugh at their sagging cheekbones and crow lines!

This is especially so in a society where most feel is unfair. How come two human beings who both have two eyes, one nose and one mouth can have so different destinies (one becomes a 9-5 clerk while another rises to super-star status) just because one is born more good-looking than the other?

Let’s take my mother, for instance. She’s in her 50s and terribly afraid of ageing. The mere thought of it haunts her like a wandering spirit with a restless soul. This is especially so when Chinese New Year is around the corner. She sighs and go, “One year past so fast.” Anyone who reads between the lines know exactly that she’s not referring to the time flying past, but the time which is showing on her face.

Hence, she’s an avid exerciser and health-nutritionist, all so as to prolong her life span. She stocks up on all kinds of expensive creams. To get rid of her wrinkles, blackheads, pimples. You name it, and she probably has it in that wardrobe of hers. She spreads thousands and thousands of dollars on facial treatments, laser treatments, and botox injections.

She refuses to acknowledge her age, and insists on one single candle on her birthday cake each year. Sometimes, I peek at her passport or see the age bracket she ticks whenever we go JB to remind myself of her age.

I know many girls in their early twenties who feel like old grannies. Almost every single girl, actually. The truth is, we often don’t appreciate what we have until we’ve lost it. Meaning only when these girls approach their 30s, do they look back and reminisce about their youth in the 20s, and the loss of it in their 30s. Same goes for those in their 40s who look back at their 30s. Often, we overlook our current state or situation, always desiring to be in a different phrase. Only when we’ve lost it, then do we spend time appreciate those lost moments.

My suggestion is, why not enjoy the moment? Enjoy the currency, wealth and opportunities of youth that you have now, and in the years ahead of you.

That’s not to say that when you are in your 30s, should you start forever living in the shadow of being 20!

I don’t understand why a 30-year-old woman would be considered old. This is again a perception of society, when everyone talks about it and believes in it, and then it becomes a social norm.

Same notion as any 30-year-old woman who isn’t married by that age is most probably:
1) unmarriageable
2) which makes her: less of a woman

This is why women rush to get married before they hit 30, otherwise relatives will start talking behind her back. They wouldn’t think that she’s a happy single woman, but probably one with eccentric thinking / fugly and that’s why no man wants her.

My point is that one does not grow old for nothing. When one is at a more mature age, one is more likely to be happier. Because you are no longer that insecure teenager, who worries about that pimple on her forehead and not having enough money to buy her favourite idol’s CD or fund her constant craving for designer coffee.

You are now a financially-independent, self-assured woman. And, then, you do not have to worry about not having enough money to finance your craving for Starbucks coffee, because now, you’re eyeing that Prada handbag you saw that day at Paragon. Hahaha!

Too many people live for the future.

To be truly happy, you must live for the moment.

致：无聊的女人

亲爱的朋友，

爱要有遗憾才美，你相信吗？

失恋了。

什么语言都是多余的吧，唯有自己静下心来安静思考。

我的字眼可能很单纯，但看得比较清澈，明白。

什么才叫做失恋？

朋友暗恋的男生，爱上了另外一个女孩，只好忍痛割爱，哭得死去活来。

可他们从来都没有在一起过，这种单方面的爱情，可以称得上失恋吗？

记得去年同班同学失恋了。

刚开始，与男友吵架，有一天把一张臭脸搬到课室来，整班同学都吓呆了。

后来，分手了。

失恋后的一段日子，她变得很纳闷，不怎么爱说话。

她在网上发泄一切。

天天以一双红肿肿的双眼来上课，很明显的哭了一整个晚上。

朋友看了都很心疼。

我要说的是: 可以失恋，但是万万不可失态！！

Happy 21st Birthday

HAPPY 21ST TO STEFFYA!!!

Friendster does -ve to my ego

I'm convinced. Friendster has a -ve impact on my ego.

As if I need any more evidence as to how much of a prude I am, there my ex-classmates are, frolicking under the Sentosa sun in their skimpy beachwear and short shorts, propped by their frail, anorexic frames. With their suggestive poses targeted at lesbianism (it's supposed to be cool, hunny), their lobster-coloured faces which hint of more than a pint of alcohol, their mascara-laden eyelashes and their skinny bodies weighted down by heavy, bulky jewellery.

Excuse me, is this what is supposed to be hot?

Then, sorry to disappoint you, I'm somewhat of a prude.

Have the young, giggly schoolgirls I've known during my secondary days matured into full-grown adults? All of them seem to sport the same sultry/slutty look, with the same 45-angle tilt of their heads to pose for the camera lens, the same drugged/drunked look, the same low-cut dresses and the same Rainie Yang pout. Some are beyond recognisable, you would have thought they have merged into someone different altogether.

Excuse me, have I been left way behind during the emergence of these camera whores?

I'm 18 (going on 19), for goodness sake! Then, why do I feel like a conservative, old granny with her ancient way of thinking lagging behind modern society, instead of the young, opinionated teenage lass I'm supposed to be?

Sigh, I'm suffering from the demise of my search for self-identity, and slowly conforming into the mould society has moulded for me. What if I don't fit in? Am I forever going to be known as the nerd with four eyes and always carrying a pile of books, topping the class with good grades and combined with a penchant for walking with her head facing the ground?

This is bad! I need to do something about my self-image, I don't want to always be known as the socially-awkward member of society.

I need to start wearing lipstick.
I need to start wearing ten-inch stilettos.
I need to find a boyfriend accessory.
I need to find friends who are perpetual camera whores.
I need to wear contact lenses.
I need to dye my hair brown.
I need to start being obsessed with my looks.
I need to start having self-praise for myself because I'm god-damned the most beautiful creature God every created. (Yeah, right)
I need to start failing my exams.
I need to start clubbing.
I need to start partying.
I need piercings/tattoos.
I need to start talking about plastic surgery. A lot. Oh, wait, I already am. Ok, I need to start talking about it in a positive light, then.

I need to lose some of my brains.
And, while I'm at that, I need to lose some weight as well.

Then, also hor, I have to re-set my blog settings such that when you right-click on any of my navigation links, the words "I'm Beautiful" will pop up. Sigh, there are so many things to do to revamp myself into plastic Barbie lar! I haven't even touched on the topic of Ken yet...(ok, later...maybe not)

I need to set up a wishlist on my sidebar, then I cannot write things like "The Da Vinci Code" or "Your Dummy's Guide to Physics" or like what I did the last time, "The Nightmare Before Christmas alarm clock". Instead, I must write things like "Prada handbag" or "Mac concealer" or "XX Brand moisturiser"...and then, of course, not forgetting the all-important priority -> PLASTIC SURGERY...aiyo, Barbie won't be complete without the plastic mah. What, you idiotic lah, you think Barbie made of Mattel human flesh ar ! Pfftph! Flesh will rot and sag, but plastic...nair mind...

Oh no! So many things to do, so little time!

[To my readers: Believe it or not, the above paragraph were all written with my fictional imagination, based on my own self-perception of people who chase beauty and material posessions and nothing else. The moment I turned my head, I surfed the web and chanced upon someone's blog which fulfilled all the criterion I've stated above. Yes, including plastic surgery at the age of 21. Heh..fiction versus reality, they may be closer than you think.]

Oh yeah, not to forget hor, I have to STOP writing this kind of articles in my blog. Instead, I have to talk about how beautiful I am, then take A LOT of pictures of myself and post them all over my blog. And, then, I have to blog 24/7 about my darhling Ken, and instead of dissing Bimbos, I have to lavish them with praise, because you see, even though I'm supposed to be Bimbotic but I have enough brains to know that I shouldn't diss my own alter ego, right anot? *rolls eyes conceitedly* I must have full confidence in myself, and must always remember to have self-praise for bimbos. Who cares about non-bimbos? They are just fugly people with low self-esteem.

And, then, not forgetting that I have to post pictures of myself with NO make-up on, and then proceed to brag to others how I still look like God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On My Face, EVEN with NO make-up on. Cannot cannot, sorry, if I really want to change myself hor, then I must STOP writing in proper English, after that no more credibility liao mah, ryt not...That girl really bitch man, I hate her. She think she so pretty, KNN, ask her go eat shit..Btw, I went Bugis with Sherlyn yesterday, ate at this Japanese restaurant (forgot wat is the name liao)...after tt went to buy b'dae present for Kathereen...ok, I gtg, bye!

Well, not to worry, the very first thing I need to do is start wearing lip gloss and STOP walking around with my grossly dry, cracked lips. Next, I need to start looking in the mirror more often (everywhere I go, my reflection in the MRT underground, glossy surfaces and outside exteriors of shops etc.). Then, I have to start practising the trademark pout -> which, basically, is to focus all the muscles around your mouth to one concentrated area: the peak of your lips. Easy, enough? Either that, or I have to start sticking out my tongue and blink one eye in every other photo-taking session. (Hey! All bimbos do that!) Next, I need to shed off my nerdy spectacles and replace it with supposedly cool shades that cover half of my face.

想要改变外在美，很难！

想要改善内在，难上加难！

For the sake of my self-image, I have to STOP looking like goody-two-shoes Hilary Duff and start transforming into the next lady tramp, Lindsay Lohan.

There's something I'm not very sure about though...I have no idea how to cool-speak. Do you say stuff like, "Yo, Mama!" or something? I have no idea...but I know I have to STOP typing 3/4 of my smses in full english.

"Kk...I have to see if I will be able to make it, will gif u a call tml."

have to become

"Kk...I c if i wil b able 2 mak it, gif u buzz tml."

I have a question here, who doesn't know that "give me a buzz" means "to ring up or give the other party a call"? The last time (ok, actually, 2 years ago) someone said to me to give her "a buzz"...and I went,

"I'm sorry, give you a what?"

"Give me a buzz."

I looked at her as though she were crazy, why would she want me to give her a bumblebee?

"A buzz." She repeated.

Images of bumblebees and mosquito bites remained in my mind.

Finally, she said, exasperated. "A call. Give me a call."

Oh! Ooi, please lah, want me to call you then just say the words C-A-L-L lah, what for buzz here buzz there, I have no idea what that means. (ok, now, I do.)

Ahh, so the true meaning of cool-speak is to speak in a language that no one can understand, to show that you are a cut above the rest because you lingo speak, and have so much linguistic talent in you ozzing out, like apple fillings ozzing out of a pie.

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After saying so much, everyone knows that I will still remain the nerd that I am, and whatever that is written above was in good humour. I have a friend who told me that she tried to shed off her geeky image by purposely failing her exams. She wanted to fit in. Who knows better than me how nerds and good grades will always be associated and misconstrued to fit into the same sentence?

Once, someone said in front of me to my friend that I was a nerd. (Not in a bad way, of course)

I asked her, "Why do you say I am a nerd?"

She replied, "Because you always get good grades mah."

Does being a food lover make you a glutton? Does being skinny make you an aneroxic? Does getting good grades make you a nerd?

Sadly, yes.

What we know as right or wrong are all perceptions or angles of reality that mass media and the public have craved out for us. Maybe, it's time to break out of that mould.